Anna sat in class wishing she had taken the box of Kleenex that her mother tried to force on her as she was getting out of the car. She'd had an armload of books, binders and bags to carry as it was, and besides...what kind of loser carries in their own Kleenex? Anyway, every classroom had a box...or so she thought. She had plopped down in Health class needing desperately to blow her nose, but there was no Kleenex in sight. She would have settled for the hard, brown, scratchy Corbin "towels" from the girls bathroom, but not even that was available at this point. Great...she thought...HELLOOOO...Health class...of all the rooms in school, this one should be promoting the prevention of germ spreading by offering every desk a box of Kleenex, and anti-bacterial hand wipes!! Anna knew that Mr. Hall wouldn't allow her to run to the bathroom...he never even let anybody leave the classroom to pee, much less to blow their nose. She thought about raising her hand to ask for a Kleenex, but then everyone would turn to look at her and she might die of embarrassment from the snot bubble that had formed in her left nostril. She was anxious at this point...no panicked was more like it...
Mr. Hall began calling roll. Anna's mind began a silent dialog...when he gets to my name what if people look at me when I say "here"....even worse...what if Matt notices?? He is the most beautiful boy in the whole school....God, I love hiiiiim...I want him to notice me...but not like this...UGH! What should I do? What should I do? Crap...he's gonna call my name any second...Think, Anna...think! Just then Mr. Hall called her name, and Anna, in one fluid motion, raised her left hand, wiped her snotty nose on the sleeve of her shirt and said "here." Fortunately, no one bothered to look her direction. She had successfully taken care of her snot bubble issue, but now had an entirely new dilemma....how to hide the massive snot wad on the left shoulder of her navy blue shirt....If I had just taken the box of Kleenex from momma...she thought...shook her head...rolled her eyes...smiled, and turned her attention to Mr. Hall's anti-tobacco lesson of the day.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
A Box of Kleenex
Jack's cell phone rang just about a mile from the house. It was his wife asking him to stop by the store on his way home to pick up a few things she had forgotten earlier in the day. Nine months ago this would have bent him out of the frame...that's why we make a grocery list...he thought as he breathed a heavy sigh, but she was four days overdue with the birth of their first child. Was he going to say no? He turned his truck around and headed back toward Publix. Thankfully the list was short...shredded cheddar cheese, a box of Kleenex, a can of mushrooms and one yellow onion. Jack grabbed a basket and got to work...this won't take long...he thought...piece of cake. Jack realized immediately just how out of his element he was when he had to take stock of his surroundings. Bev always did the grocery shopping. His knowledge of the lay of the land was limited to cold beer and chips. He could find those two aisles blindfolded. He decided on a plan of attack...onion, shrooms, Kleenex, then cheese.
Jack found the onion with no trouble. Finding a can of mushrooms proved to be more challenging. It took several trips up and down the same aisle before he finally found the little suckers. He had no idea there were varieties of canned mushrooms...button, whole, sliced, stems, pieces with stems, name brand, store brand...WTF? He grabbed a can of store brand pieces and stems and prayed it would suffice. Choosing a box of Kleenex was no walk in the park either...you've got to be kidding me...he thought as he perused all the different varieties...Kleenex, Puffs, Scott, plain, plus, plus with lotion, with Vick's and lotion, rectangular box or square, decorative box or solid? This one he was going to have to get right. He knew Bev was very particular about ass wipe and Kleenex...or was it Puffs? Aaaaaggghhhh! He had no clue, so by process of elimination, and a silent game of eenie-meenie-miny-moe, he went with the plain Puffs. Jack was now frustrated, stressed out, and mumbling under his breath as he went in search of shredded cheese. He looked down at his watch...whaaat?...actually escaped his throat, sounding more like an adolescent boy than his own voice. He had been in the Publix for twenty minutes...twenty minutes to get four items! He snatched the first bag of cheese he spied and headed for home.
Jack did almost come unglued when he got home and Bev asked...What took you so long, sweetie? He handed over his one bag of goodies without a word and began to loosen his tie. Baby...you got the wrong kind of tissue....I wanted a box of Kleenex with the added lotion. You know that's the kind I like...silly...Puffs...she trailed off laughing. The first time Jack had to go to the store for diapers, well, you can just imagine!
Jack found the onion with no trouble. Finding a can of mushrooms proved to be more challenging. It took several trips up and down the same aisle before he finally found the little suckers. He had no idea there were varieties of canned mushrooms...button, whole, sliced, stems, pieces with stems, name brand, store brand...WTF? He grabbed a can of store brand pieces and stems and prayed it would suffice. Choosing a box of Kleenex was no walk in the park either...you've got to be kidding me...he thought as he perused all the different varieties...Kleenex, Puffs, Scott, plain, plus, plus with lotion, with Vick's and lotion, rectangular box or square, decorative box or solid? This one he was going to have to get right. He knew Bev was very particular about ass wipe and Kleenex...or was it Puffs? Aaaaaggghhhh! He had no clue, so by process of elimination, and a silent game of eenie-meenie-miny-moe, he went with the plain Puffs. Jack was now frustrated, stressed out, and mumbling under his breath as he went in search of shredded cheese. He looked down at his watch...whaaat?...actually escaped his throat, sounding more like an adolescent boy than his own voice. He had been in the Publix for twenty minutes...twenty minutes to get four items! He snatched the first bag of cheese he spied and headed for home.
Jack did almost come unglued when he got home and Bev asked...What took you so long, sweetie? He handed over his one bag of goodies without a word and began to loosen his tie. Baby...you got the wrong kind of tissue....I wanted a box of Kleenex with the added lotion. You know that's the kind I like...silly...Puffs...she trailed off laughing. The first time Jack had to go to the store for diapers, well, you can just imagine!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
A Box of Kleenex
Jen had a penchant for making foolish choices. She had always been a dreamer...impulsive...a leap before you look kind of girl...especially when it came to matters of the heart. Without even a modicum of dignity, she'd thrown herself head first and naked into an impossible situation...and she'd known it right from the start. She didn't want to see things as they really were, not at all. She wanted to see things as she imagined they could be. It was immature...emotionally retarded...stupid...and of course, foolish. Her pensive view of love usually equated to a broken heart, and this time was no exception. Her phone had stopped ringing and her inbox was devoid of a single message. Would she ever learn? Jen reached for the box of Kleenex...empty. Why am I shedding tears over this anyway?...she wondered as she opened a new box. Until that moment...until she asked herself that question...she never really understood how hard it was to lose something that she never even had, both literally and figuratively.
Jen never had the man...never had the love. He never really wanted her. Maybe it was the idea of her that was attractive to him. In truth, his heart...his life belonged to someone else. He was a man torn by his past, and impotent to do anything about his future. Despite everything, though, Jen jumped and fell hard....a foolish leap of love as it turned out. In the end...it was she who shattered whatever bond they may have shared. Purposefully, abruptly, willfully, maliciously...she ended it. She knew in doing so, he would never forgive her...she made sure there was nothing left to repair. She spent days feeling sick about her decision, but she had to move on. Perhaps one day Jen would learn to look before leaping when her heart was on the line...or perhaps not...playing it safe was not in her nature, and besides, love was definitely worth it. Jen looked down at yet another empty box of Kleenex, and sighed.
Jen never had the man...never had the love. He never really wanted her. Maybe it was the idea of her that was attractive to him. In truth, his heart...his life belonged to someone else. He was a man torn by his past, and impotent to do anything about his future. Despite everything, though, Jen jumped and fell hard....a foolish leap of love as it turned out. In the end...it was she who shattered whatever bond they may have shared. Purposefully, abruptly, willfully, maliciously...she ended it. She knew in doing so, he would never forgive her...she made sure there was nothing left to repair. She spent days feeling sick about her decision, but she had to move on. Perhaps one day Jen would learn to look before leaping when her heart was on the line...or perhaps not...playing it safe was not in her nature, and besides, love was definitely worth it. Jen looked down at yet another empty box of Kleenex, and sighed.
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